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Post by moonshine on Aug 8, 2011 6:20:43 GMT -8
Name: Ebonypaw ---> Ebonystream
Prefix Meaning: Her pelt is black.
Suffix Meaning: Her pelt ripples like moving water when wind blows it.
Age: 16 moons
Rank: apprentice (explained in history)
Clan: Dayclan
Description: Ebonypaw's pelt is deep black, like a raven's feathers. When she's in good physical condition, her pelt has a shine to it that is similar to light reflecting off water. At the moment, her pelt is lackluster and she has multiple half-healed cuts all over her pelt. She is on the skinny side, but Deathclanners kept her fed enough to keep her alive.
Ebonypaw's eyes are deep green. Normally, they're bright and attentive. At the moment, her eyes are dull and lacking their usual attentive gleam. Her nose is a darker color to match her pelt. Like her pelt, however, it is dull and lackluster.
All in all, Ebonypaw looks like a cat who has been underfed and tortured.
Personality: Ebonypaw is an energetic and strong she-cat. She is easygoing and trustworthy, and willing to lay down her life for the clan. She is very loyal and friendly, and willing to learn. She is somewhat mature for her age, but sometimes is seen playing with the older kits. She is very good with older kits, and can't wait for an apprentice of her own.
At least, that's how she used to be. Before Deathclan cats cat-napped her. Since then, she's become an introvert. Ebonypaw's now very reserved and quiet. She doesn't talk much about what Deathclan has been doing to her, and doesn't plan to. However, while many of Ebonypaw's personality traits have changed, some have not. She is still willing to lay down her life for her clan. She is still very trustworthy and strong. However, she doesn't play with the older kits any more. The incident with Deathclan has forced her to mature much more quickly than any cat would've expected.
History: Ebonykit was born to a she-cat named Smallclaw, a fierce warrior. Her father died in battle shortly before Ebonykit was born. She had one littermate, a small white tom that was named Icekit. He was sickly and didn't live to become an apprentice. Ebonykit picked up many apprentice skills as a kit.
Ebonykit became Ebonypaw at six moons, the normal time for an apprentice. She was assigned to a warrior named Stoneclaw, a grey-pelted tom who was also a fierce warrior. He was an older warrior who kept saying he would retire after Ravenpaw became a warrior. He trained Ebonypaw hard, and she learned a lot from him. She looked up to him like a father figure.
When Ebonypaw was eleven moons old, she and Stoneclaw went out hunting. A group of Deathclan cats ambushed and outnumbered them. Stoneclaw wasn't as quick as he had been, but tried his best to defend Ebonypaw when she passed out. Ebonypaw had been flung headlong into a large rock, which caused her to pass out. However, Stoneclaw couldn't defend against all the Deathclan cats. He was killed trying to protect Ebonypaw. He was discovered not too long after that.
It's been five moons since that day. Dayclan has assumed Ebonypaw is long dead and stopped looking for her after a moon. She has been tortured and attacked, but has said nothing about Dayclan to Deathclan. She is losing hope that she will be rescued, but a flicker of that hope still burns within her.
Picture:
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Post by -->SAPHiRE on Aug 10, 2011 8:42:55 GMT -8
Hiya! So before I even read the bio, there's two things that I want you to address. At this point, we should all be experienced enough roleplayers to know how to make a bio look nice. Everything should be blockquoted, and the titles should be bolded. Everything just blends into itself without the bolded titles, I don't really want to search through the paragraphs to find "personality" and "history."
Also, Raven is a reserved prefix for Blue, so you can unfortunately not use that. I know how frustrating it is when you can't have the name you want for your cat, but there are plenty of names that could probably fit your cat! Fia is excellent at coming up with names, so if you need help then you can always ask her.
Just fix those things and I'll read the bio! Thanks Moonshine! |
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Post by moonshine on Aug 11, 2011 12:59:08 GMT -8
Fixed!
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Post by -->SAPHiRE on Aug 17, 2011 13:20:06 GMT -8
Okay, thank you! Your bio has been ACCEPTED and will soon be moved to the acceptance board.
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