Firestorm [OLD]

[nightkit]

Name: Firestorm

Prefix Meaning: When the sun shines on his pelt, he looks like raging fire.

Suffix Meaning: He is very fluffy, making look like a small cloud.

Age: 22 moons

Rank: Warrior

Clan: SunClan

Description:

Firestorm was the largest kit in the litter with long fur and large paws, he stood out in a crowd. With a short tail he could easily escape danger, like a cat who hooks long tails and pulls the cat backward to fight. His fur was a mixture of gold, orange, ginger, and red, which made him a fire out of a cat. He was always handsome because of his long fur that he kept shiny and clean. He had a rough spot on his shoulder, a scar, which burned when it snowed, which was unusual for a scar, but he never really knew how he got it. Being handsome was his every day thing, but he did it with his face.

An almond shaped face with softened corners and large tufts of fur near the chin stunned the she-cat but he caught her with his eyes and whiskers alone. His eyes are shaped like ovals and colored golden-amber like the sun. His whiskers, pure white, caught fresh morning dew under trees.
Under Firestorm's long pelt, he is very skinny, but larger near the chest. His bulid is perfect for swimming and windy places, and he is stronger

Personality: Firestorm isn't a goody-goody like you might think, but a loyal friend who never spills secrets. He never wanted more than he was given, and he asked questions only when he was truly confused. A unsure cat, he never put his paws where he shouldn't, like stepping into an argument. He is very, very shy, and doesn't talk much. His brother and his sister are dead now, and he was hit pretty hard. He has never been the same since.

Firestorm likes to have cats he likes or friends around him, otherwise he feels not sure of himself. He joins patrols and hunting duties just so he can be together with cats. He is very helpful when needed, and isn't overly critical to apprentices, but gives them a push when they need it. Typically, he'll go on a hunting patrol, then join a patrol, rest for a little, eat, join another hunting patrol, join the sunset patrol, then sleep. He loves to be helpful and fight for his Clan.

History: His mother is Badgerstripe (deceased) and his father is Clearstream (deceased). When he was a kit, he was always an outsider from the other kits. Usually he was alone in his den, playing with stones. His sister, Rosekit, was jealous of him. She always called him 'An NightClan intruder' and jumped on him. His brother, Sandkit, didn't care. He just played with the other kits. As a kit, Firekit was ignored, jumped on, and teased by the other kits because he was different from them. For instance, he wanted to play with stones, rather than kits. His mother was kind and played with him. His father taught him a couple of moves to survive boredom.

When Firekit, Sandkit, and Rosekit were made into apprentices, Firepaw's mentor pushed him to be the best cat ever. He trained non-stop, and practiced hard every day. His mentor was proud. Firepaw was known as an amazing apprentice. Then, Rosepaw did a terrible thing. She sat on the Thunderpath and purposely got run over and killed by a monster. Badgerstripe understood Rosepaw's suicide. Rosepaw had told her in a dream. She said "I died because of myself..I hated living alone...And I never even liked other cats...It was just awkard living in this world..So I decided to end my life...Please forgive me..."

Firepaw was okay with Rosepaw dying, but their mother was deeply scarred. Firepaw and Sandpaw tried to cheer up their mother, and it helped slightly. Their father ran away and became a loner, because he loved Rosepaw so much that he ran away to live his life alone. His father running away did not help their mother at all.

When Firepaw and Sandpaw became Firestorm and Sandfur, their mother only lived two days after her little boys became warriors, then she lost the will to live, and died. Sandfur later on killed himself by eating deathberries. Firestorm was heartbroken. Then, his father tried to talk to him, but was killed by a stranger. Firestorm, heartbroken, had found his father breathing his dying breath, telling him that Firestorm will have a better future, and he is still loved. Firestorm was so upset tried to eat deathberries but Blackrain had noticed him dying, and had saved him with his mediacal abillites. He was very upset, but he knew StarClan wanted him to live. He went on with his life, and wishes for someone to comfort him.

Picture: www.miury.com/lovely_cats_screensaver.jpg

[Fia]

Looking good! Just a few little things I need adjusted (I assure you, virtually every bio goes through this).

First, please be a little more detailed in his physical description. The first paragraph doesn't tell us much about what he looks like, other than that he's orange and handsome. Please mention his approximate size and build, too (big, small, heavy, slim), so we can picture him better. Thanks!

Now, his history is pretty much acceptable. There are just a couple little things I'd like you to expand on. Why would his mother and father (whose name can't be Moonstream; we have a MoonClan) neglect their two children and spoil one? I'm not saying they can't have, I'd just like to know why. Why was Firekit teased by his denmates?

Please mention a few events leading up to Rosepaw's suicide. Just so we know she didn't suddenly get angry and want to die. Also, border patrols don't kill strangers... Soundstar wouldn't stand for it. Please have Firestorm's father die at someone else's paws. One last thing - deathberries are a lethal poison, it's almost impossible to survive after eating them. How did Firestorm? Did Blackrain, the medicine cat, save him? Did some cat manage to force him to throw up and get them out of his stomach?

That's about it, I think. Other than that, he looks pretty good! Just take care of those things and we'll be happy to accept him. Thanks, and welcome to Silver Warriors!

[nightkit]

Better? -pants- I also fixed my other bios...

[Fia]

Much better. XD Just a few things that confuse me now. One, this big secret about his 'heritage'... what exactly do you mean by that? (We're not currently accepting cats with mixed heritage, just so you know; only pure-blooded Clanborn cats.) How would Rosepaw know she would die young, and why would it be her brother's fault? Why would Clearstream's presence make his son go nuts? I just... don't understand. X3 Can you clear it up for me, please?

(Oh, and Blackrain can't enter cats' minds... he's not Jayfeather. XD He'd have to save him with his medical skills. )

[Fia]

Much clearer, thanks. ^____^ Your bio has been ACCEPTED and will now be moved to the appropriate board. Have fun with him!