Specklepaw [OLD]

[nightkit]

Name: Specklepaw
Prefix Meaning: Specklepaw has splashes of colors all over her fur, and they look like speckles.
Suffix Meaning: Specklepaw is a apprentice, and apprentices all have 'paw in the suffix of their name.
Age: 6 1/2 moons
Gender: Female
Rank: Apprentice
Clan: NightClan

Description: Specklepaw. What a fitting name. Specklepaw has short, brown fur with streaks of black, white, light brown, darker brown, and mixes of orange. All of the colors swirl around, changing sizes as the wind blows. Her thin, underfed appearance let's her fur make large tufts that stick out, unless Specklepaw washes her fur.

If you nose your way into Specklepaw's fur, you'll see a thin but well-muscled upper body and a compact belly that has thick skin, and finally, if you go above her, you'll see a large back with far spread shoulders and tightly stretched skin. The skin around Specklepaw's neck is abnormally thin, giving way to slightly thicker muscle. Her spine is long but a little crooked, making one paw going on tip-toe to avoid falling over.

Specklepaw's face is the strangest, yet most amazing thing about her. Here, her streaks start to blur with the fur, making a rich brown, and dark brown stripes her face. Her eyes are a rich, mysterious hazel, and her eyes are very small but understand and note everything around her. Her whiskers are short, and they touch only a little ways past her long, silky fur.

Personality: Specklepaw is a sly, witty she-cat with a loving sense of humor and caring, and a sharp, down-to-earth tone about her. She is a listener, and loves to try new things. Even though she is a young apprentice, she acts like a mother of the apprentices. Specklepaw loathes cats that brag and act like the leader, but only because they are too bossy. Specklepaw's shyness comes from a little wound in her heart. The wound is from being too small and being excluded. She wishes she could be bigger but knows if tried too much she'd act bossy.

Specklepaw has strange habits, like licking a mouse twice, then praying to StarClan for thanks of this life and the meal it will make. She steadily trains at StarClan, and at times wishes to be a medicine cat. Specklepaw, along with her habits, also has strange fears. She is afraid of too much bloodshed, and when a battle happens, she gives herself a small wound on the arm, then goes out to fight. She hates battles but they are witty things that she loves and hates at the same time.

History: Specklepaw was a small kit born in a litter of three. Specklekit never wanted to much attention from her mother, Robinsong or father Flamefoot, and loved to hunt crickets and play fight her brother, Yellowkit, and her sister, Greykit. Specklekit always joked with her siblings that their mother had been fond of colors when she had named them.

When Specklekit was near apprenticeship, she began to hate Falconpaw. She just had a burning hate for him. Specklekit also starting liking cats that were amazing at something. She was very adoring of Mudclaw, because he mentored and kept Falconpaw out of trouble. She also started to love her brother even more than usual. The day before apprenticeship, she confessed. She had been sneaking out of camp to see loners. She said that she'd even seen Jay, the killer from DeathClan. She didn't confess about seeing Fading himself, but she wished she could. Yellowkit asked her why, and she didn't reply. Yellowkit made sense out of Specklekit's nonsense. Specklekit was bored of being a NightClanner. Yellowkit just said, "Don't worry. It'll soon be better."

During apprenticeship, Specklepaw began to act like a young mother. She wanted to repay all of the things she did and turn them over, helping other apperntices out. Specklepaw avoided Falconpaw, tried to make friends, and wonder about her mentor. She didn't really know who it was yet, since she had gotten one late beacuse of the hardships in NightClan. Specklepaw developed witty sly love, and started to like Falconpaw again. Specklepaw began to grow scared of heights, because of how you could fall, wind slipping through your fur, and slap down hard, dying instantly, very sneaky, because she wondered and needed to know what's going on, and discovered she might have a love for Falconpaw, but she doesn't want him to know. Falconpaw might not love her back, and she feels like he's pulling away from him. But it's not Specklepaw's business to blab secrets anyway. That's Greypaw's business.

Picture: ilovecatsandpokemon.deviantart.com/art/Specklepaw-256536267

[Fia]

Hey, Nightkit! Sorry for the horrible delay, college has been killing me ; no excuse, but it's all I've got. X3

Now, Specklepaw looks pretty cool, but if you could give her personality a little more depth (even just expand on the present points), that'd be great. Her history could also stand to be fleshed out a little bit: the first paragraph needs a few more sentences, it's just too brief. In the second, could you perhaps explain the loner-meetings in a little more detail?

Now, the third part intrigues me, but it's got a lot of abrupt, unexplained developments. What caused her to suddenly shift from sneaking away to mothering other apprentices? Why was she given a mentor late? What caused her fear of heights, sneakiness, and sudden lack of hatred for my Falconpaw? Also, technically Falconpaw and Jazzpaw haven't met yet, that's a 'near future' plan.

I do believe that's it. Just address the above points, please, and we'll be happy to accept Specklepaw. Again, I apologize for the delay in checking her over.

[nightkit]

I be dooooonnnneee....Sorry I'm not on lately..Shcool is putting me under a nervous collapse..

[Fia]

Nice job, thanks! =] Only there's no way anyone could suspect the Falcon/Jazz thing because right now, Falconpaw doesn't know Jazzpaw exists, and therefore can't have any interest in her whatsoever. Let's assume he doesn't like anybody right now, okay? XD I'm gonna accept Specklepaw now and trust you to just get rid of any mention of Jazzpaw in the bio, alright?

So. Your bio has been ACCEPTED and will now be moved to the appropriate board. Have fun with your interesting little kitty! =]